好久了，
好遥远了，
无法挽回，
无法补救。

好痛了，
好习惯了，
无须解释，
无须辩护。

在以往的生活字典中，"遥远"不曾出现。直到那件事发生后，无缘无故地发生后，这字眼悄悄地浮现。
在以往的生活日记中，"痛"永远在里头。直到那件事发生后，无缘无故地发生后，这字眼已入木三分。

曾经渴望挽回、补救，可就不知从何下手。
曾经渴望解释、辩护，可就不晓从何开口。

人与人之间，也许需要一定的空间；再要好的朋友；日子久了，话题变少，由少化无。就算，给予时间，挽回、补救、解释、辩护，也让人束手无策。

处于此局中，也许需要更多的时间；再要好的朋友；日子久了，唯有了解，唯有明白。就算，给予时间，挽回、补救、解释、辩护，也让人束手无策。

破了的杯子，或许真的怎么黏，都会有裂痕。(我不肯相信，最终，我还是得屈服... ...)

Feel the allure and charm this season

~Enchanted Night 2007~

organized by ENGSOC and Swim Club of Multimedia University

With the theme of "A touch of Sugar Frost", Enchanted Night 2007, was successfully presented to all attendants. But before, going to the pics...let's hv a look at the customised flash for the great night.

And also, a specially designed website of Enchanted Night 2007.

Great committees for a Great Night

My Secretary, Ping Ting and me near the ice carving

Look wat am I doing to the president of Engineering Society, Johnathan Yong. John...You are just so cute with makeup....

We simply look gorgeous.....(perasan betul...)

That's all the pics that i can show for now...There will be a continuation to this post...

After all the whoo-ha during the Cyberpreneurship project, I am left wif 3 events.(seriuously is 2 only coz i hv a very gd assistant for 2nd Rawang Taekwondo Championship 2007. Luv ya, Shu Yee!!!:P)

The next exctitement in campus will be the prom night "Enchanted Night 2007" in Palace of Golden Horses. I just can't wait the night to come, i would really wanna testify wether our effort in organizing this prom night is paid off o not.

Talking about my own prom dress, a big thank you to my dearest mummy...The initial plan was 2 go shop for it with my frens, however, my mum insist in getting my dress tailor-made. I'l upload the pics once i get myself fully dress for the night. Hehe...Kisses and hugs...Mummy...

The last one will be the 10th Anniversary Celabration of Chinese Language Society of Multimedia University. Man...i really feel that i am not suitable for the post of secreatary. We held our 1st working committee meeting last night, there were loads of mistake in the slide presentation. I am really lousy in it...n thanks 2 my PC too who acted up last minute wen i was finalising the presentation, causing me 2 go 'kacau' my frens late night.

Indeed, it is tiring in organizing events. Tinking of the positive side of it, i learnt a lot in return. Everyone told me
that hardship during organizing is part of d process, and I am trying to appreciate all the hardship i encountered, it makes me a better person.

On the other hand, i tink i hv hurt a lot of ppl around me during the process. Of course, i am also staring to neglect the most important part in my life, my friends...I am really sorry. Other than sorry, i jz dunno wat 2 say 2 u guys...

At last...i can take a deep breath and really rest

Just finish all my midterm papers on wed night, however, d story never ends here. Upcoming events still occupy my memory space and RAM...my processor needs to be upgraded again. I am just so desperate for holidays, away from all organizing stuffs and books...

Let me list down d events that i crave for it to end:

1) Cyberpreneurship Business Project

2) Enchanted Night 2007

3) 2nd Rawang Taekwondo Championship 2007

4) MMU Cyberjaya Chinese Language Society 10th Anniversary

It is all about proposals, formal letters, sponsorship..Facing my PC for long hours but not surfing the net is just not the norm of my life. And grabbing the chance to update my blog using my fren's PC is wat i am doin now...Dat's y....

I AM SO-NOT-ME!!!!!

冷战

我已经对冷战厌倦了，但并不是麻木；
厌倦，或许是因为冷战时常都会发生在家里；
不麻木，或许是因为冷战发生的原因都一一而异。

沮丧与悲伤也因此时常到我心房拜访；
沮丧，我无法抗拒；
悲伤，我无能拒绝；
但，把这些压抑于心底永远是我的选择。

若有一天，
我真的真的崩溃了，
我真的真的失心了，
我会豪放地哭，尽情地哭。

眼泪流了，
不是要得到他人同情，
而是让自己的心里好过些，
让一些无法抒发的话语，
以眼泪当代名词表达出来。

无可否认，
冷战，让人成长，
不经一事，不长一智，
谢谢让我沮丧与悲伤过的人，
为我人生作了那么多首插曲。

Away from my Cyberjaya apartment for 3 weeks, and there goes my blog....

Will be updated soon, till i finish all the stuffs that are still pending here.

In the darkness of the twilight, 6.40a.m., tragedy happened with just a flick in my old school.

A bus labelled ‘C’, having a driver sitting in it with despair and sorrow, staring at the pool of blood on the tar road, was parked in the front of the old canteen. Pictures of him holding on to the small little girl’s hand and her bag on the other hand, walking towards the old canteen keep on replaying in his mind.

He was the one who send this small little girl to school every morning. He was the one looking after this small little girl every morning. He was the one who loved this small little girl so much. He was also the murderer…

As usual, the bus driver will make sure all students are out of the old canteen area, only, he will make a U-turn and leave the school compound. Against all odds, it was not so on the day the tragedy happened. The girl happened to be there at the moment the bus was making the U-turn. Small in size she is, it is no wonder that the driver could not see her at the time of the day.

The little girl was rushed to a clinic at my hometown by a mineral water vendor and one of the parents who were at the area at that time. The doctor at the clinic ordered the saviour to send this little girl to the hospital immediately, as she still has her heart beat.

Ironically, the road down to the hospital is a hot spot for traffic jam. Without second thought, the uncle who was driving overtook the long queue, trying to reach the hospital as soon as possible. At this point, the police was called to action, at first, to track down the van that the uncle was driving; however, the whole objective of the operation changed.

Priority was to save the small live which was at stake. The police forces put on their sirens and help the uncle to control the traffic as to let him pass through. It is believed that the police had informed the hospital authorities. As they reached the hospital, many medical personnel were on standby mode, waiting for the van to come.

It was just a short half an hour, doctors tried to save the little girl, they tried so hard to revive her. Sadly…

Grey clouds covered the whole school, influencing the whole atmosphere of the school. Mum was in school for the whole day but she can’t feel herself. Everything seems to be so empty…

“God, why do you have to take away such a beautiful soul?
Why won’t you grant her a second chance?
Why not let her die the natural way?”

I keep on asking these questions. Tears wet my cheeks for these few nights. Question marks are still popping up from every corner of my mind.

Although I force myself to except the truth, although I still cry after so many days and nights, I will still always pray for this little girl…

Words to her:
Girl, you are a wonderful soul. Do understand why God wants you to leave this world so soon. I here, represent all teachers and fellow friends of S.J.K(C) San Yuk, Rawang, promises you that we will always pray for you and you will always be remembered. Rest in peace and head to a place that truly belongs to you.

Specially dedicated to 庄雯倪

Living my life to the fullest was what I did for the past few weeks, filled with activities of excitement and enjoyment, until I forgot to update my beloved blog.

TKD DEMO

The day started with my Taekwondo demonstration for Care Fair. We
were actually frying our legs.

QUIKSILVER AND ROXY SPREE

Quiksikver and Roxy annual 50% sales at Jalan Bukit Bintang, where we have a friend whose sister worked there before. And so, we got the pass to shop there that night. We were busy shoppin in there til we forgot to take any pics, however, we took a descent dinner pic.

2006 INTERCLUB CHAMPIONSHIP

Interclub Championship just passed too, and training was part of the reason why i did not update my blog for so long. And i would like to take this opportunity to thank my sir and also my teammates, for I really had a great time during training. I really enjoyed it.

MERRY X'MAS

As Christmas is around the corner, back here in Cyberjaya, we had hell lots of laughter. It was the night when we were all busy doing assignments, and here come my hsemate as the angel and her friends singing for us.

And last night we had our Christmas pre-celebration...the cameraman din took the overall pic of what we ate and we forgot to take the pic of the 'tang yuen'. haiz...But, Mr Bernard did something creative again...

Preparation

Feast Time

Chill-Out!!!

I LOVE U.....

U LOVE ME...

WE ARE HAPPY GAY FAMILY!!!

3 CREATIVE WAY OF WEARING A SCARF

The end of the battle against the misleading '0's and '1's came, with us holding the victorious status. To celebrate, my comrads and I marched proudly to a mamak stall that is located 15 minutes away from our bootcamp.

It's a long long road.... That day was extraordinarily short, though. Having a joker for the day among us was really different, making us occupied with laughters with tears.
Pic: Here we go marching in...


As for everyone to remember this victorious moment, photos are always essential. Maybe it is due to the craziness that is implanted in us since alpha year, we continued with our laughter journey at the mamak stall.

The Comrads

From right: Robin, Ah Guan, Yeong Shen, Hui Yi, Janice, Yukiat, Yar Ling, Geraldine(the one showing half of her head only), May, Bernard, Me, Rommel and Alvin as the cameraman.

We were actually busy talking and laughing until Bernard did something very bad to his glass of 'Teh Ais' and something very creative to my plate.

Bernard, that is sex harrassment to the Teh Ais glass, ok? Don't do it in public la... I am sitting beside you, I feel so damn embarrased la...

Right: Bernard kissing glass

Left: Bernard's drawing using curry.

And this was another crazy but creative act done by Bernard.First of all, he dipped my spoon into the curry that I never touch for the whole night. Then, slowly he let the curry drip from the spoon by holding it at a vertical position. Next, my name appeared and lucky the curry was not those kind of bloody red colour.

Good job, Bernard, keep it up...I know your creativity comes from your curiosity.

There were more crazy things that we did that night, sadly, we don't have enough time to record all these laughters and jokes into pictures. But I believe that everyone enjoyed that night.

With time flying at the speed of light, my 2nd semester in MMU Cyberjaya had reached its half. This semester is a short semester, where we have to stuff so many things into our complicated brain in just 8 weeks. And now, here am I in the 4th week.

This week is the busiest week for this semester. I wonder how come I am still updating my blog here. Let's have a look at my schedule for this week...

Mon: Electronics Lab(this is the most stressful lab of all labs)

Tues: Taekwondo training and study

Wed: Digital Logic Lab(still quite stressful) and Digital Logic midterm test

Thurs: Taekwondo training and assignments

Fri: See academic advisor, study for Electronics midterm test and assignments

Sat: Poomsae training, study and assignments again...

God bless me...please....let me do well in my digital logic midterm test and please....give me the strength and guidance to go through such ordeal....

However, I am actually looking forward to this weekend because my relative came back from Australia for holidays and will be having fun with her again. Yay.....

Looking at people around me starting to fall into the game of love, it is really time to look back into my own perspective of love. Perhaps I am not willing to get involved in it, or is it that I don’t dare to. I really don’t know…

Love is just so subjective. It depends on how one look at it. Some will think that it is a must in life. Some may take it as supplementary nutrients in life. Some will take it as a kind of indulgence.

To me, love is like some decoration accessories for our life, as to make it more colorful and more memorable. Imagine, you had a Christmas party with a huge Christmas tree, having variation of decoration accessories. The variation of colors symbolizes the variety of emotions and actions that love can bring to one’s life. It is these emotions and actions that make one’s life more memorable.

Depending on what kind of love we are talking about here. Of course, in this case we are talking about opposite sex relationships. While in this case, I can say that one can either live with or without it.

With love, life will be more wonderful and meaningful. It is the memories, also, some precious experience and lessons you have learnt between you and your partner that can be cherished for a life long. Isn’t it sweet to have all these memories dancing merrily in one’s mind when white strands of hair start to appear among the ‘black forest’ of hair?

Without love, one will miss out a lot of unpredictable things in life. Then, there will be no more roller coaster ride in one’s life. Don’t you folks think that it is boring? Don’t you folks think that it is a waste to let life end without trying different ‘emotions’?

I got an equation that was derived by one of my friend when we were chatting. It is as follow:

love = pain = hurt = happiness = stress = pressure

I do agree with it that love is equivalent to each and every adjective and nouns included in the equation above.

People tend to fear those negative ones for the equation really gives one a very insecure impression. No doubt, the game of love is just like a trap, one will have to go through each and every emotion (maybe more than that).

It is all about handling the situation in the game of love. Irrational actions might be useful in here. Unlike solving arithmetic and logic operations, emotions will be involved when handling love. As for me, I choose to mute and escape from it, which makes me unattached to anyone and makes me feel free all the time. Folks, what about you?

'Knock knock....knock knock knock knock.'

This was what i heard this early morning when i was about to doze off into my wonderful dreamland.

I did not expect it to happen so soon. Why God must do this to her? Why God must take her away?

The knock on the door was my housemate informing me that sister of one of our coursemate had passed away around 3a.m. 23/11/06. She was just a 13 year old girl who is not given the chance to enjoy teenage life. Last 2 months, she was diagnosed with limphatic cancer. Admitted into hospital not more than 3 weeks, now there she goes, leaving this unpredictable world.

Incidents that rarely happen among people around me are occuring cases by cases now. This incident really made me speechless. I was dumb struck at that moment. Everything seems to chill at its position. There was nothing i can hear, nothing i can see, nothing i can analyse.

Why those who deserve to live have to lose the right to enjoy life and live their life to the fullest?

Tears,
rebelliously rolled down the cliff of my eyes,
causing heavy rain upon my cheeks.

Tears,
I let out for someone special,
causing me to fall harder and even harder.

Tears,
I hold on to it as long as possible,
causing me to feel extreme sorrow.

Tears,
I never show in front of the special someone,
causing misunderstandings about me.

Tears,
I will show when it is time,
causing my heart to feel lighter.

Tears,
I can't show when escaping,
causing me to be a coward.

Tears,
I can't fight,
causing me to be weak.

Tears,
show it's significance,
in my life,
filled with happy and sad moments,
that will be cherished for all my life...

For the past 2 weeks, I accomplished a few missions that had been delayed since i finish my high school years. I was quite contented with it, though...

However, bad and complicated things happen when we least expect them. It just happened and it happens just when you are having fun and enjoying. This is really an ironic world. Or should i say that God is fair, giving us the chance to appreciate the good and bad things that are happening to us.

Maybe it is time to focus and let go the incidents that caused pain and sorrow,

Maybe it is time to face it and let go some mission that is impossible,

Maybe it is time to accept and let go the hope that is unreachable,

Sadly, i will not let go unless time is running out,

'Regret' will be the last word i wanna say after I let it go.

Just like the river, let it flow but not let it go...

Say bye to last semester and welcome this new semester with open arms!!!!

Saying bye here does not mean forgetting about everything in the past semester. Having a review on my results, i think i did not put in enough effort, of course, the environment in my place here was not that condusive with my blue bed waiting for me.

Since this is the second semester I am here in Multimedia University, Cyberjaya, things that turned out to be awful last semester became something normal and natural to me now. Kind of got use to it, which is good news to me. At least, i manage to keep my eyes wide open during classes, no doubt my mind still likes to fly around somewhere sometimes...

And i can see that it is still up to my own determination. So, strive for your best always, pals...

Happy Deepavali, guys...

With my stomach filled with curry and pizzas, I am now sitting in front of my laptop, updating my blog, reading other people's blogs, and also chatting with my friends(which is a must for me.hehe...).

When I was browsing my MSN messenger contacts list just now, i found a contact that was 'hibernating' for a long long time in my contacts list, and i had never chat with the person on the other end of that contact.Later, i got a glimpse of a link, which is a blog written by him/her.

Of course, my curiosity just gave me the boost to read the blog.Happy and contented I was after reading the blog.So, this blog was written by a girl, which is a law student in my university(but different campus).Reading through most of her posts, I was really fascinated by her words and sentences.Not only that, her general knowledge is far more wider than teenagers nowadays.(Gal, I salute you.)

Besides, now I can really see the big contrast between a nerdy engineer and a talkative lawyer.(Haha...guys out there, don't feel offended, just the typical description for engineers and lawyers.)

Next, I sent my after thoughts to her through MSN messenger. From there and then, we started chatting and we reintroduced ourselves. I am very grateful for that blog of hers gave me the courage to chat with her. Thanks a lot.

By the way, this is her blog:
www.speakingfinger.blogspot.com
Go check it out!!!

'One last chance'. Why is this phrase still roaming around in the streets of my mind?

Last night, i was reading a copy of Reader's Digest that i bought the other day. It was an enjoyable journey throughout, not untill i came across an article with the title 'One last chance'.

She was just a little girl, at a delicate age of 8. Why god would want her to go through such ordeal? Tumours were growing with acceleration in her brain, causing her to see double images. The situation worsen when tumours start to attack her spinal chord causing her to have breathing difficulties and being paralysed.

All these complications were caused by her birth deffect, where she shorts of certain white blood cells to fight certain viruses. As a result, she is very vulnerable to viruses. And it is at this moment, that the EBV(Epstein-Barr Virus) started to run wild in her blood, triggering tumours as there are no defence against them.

She was lucky that her doctor and parents were determinant to continue battling the tumours with her. Her doctor changed the approach of the treatment,since chemotherapy was ruining the functionality of her organs, rather than kiling the tumours, they attacked the EBV, using the T-cell therapy.

Using this therapy, the killer cells are infused into her blood system. After two heavy infusions, there were no signs of recovery. The doctor decided to give her the third one, warning the parents for any false hope. It was the last night, nurses turned off the flickering and beeping monitors.

'It'll be a couple of hours at most', these words was given to the parents by the nurse. The nurse even said to the mother that they can wash her up and change her into new clothes before she 'goes'. It is such a disaster to happen during Christmas.

However, the nurse was wrong. She was fighting through all night, she pulled off that night. Her small and skinny body was calmer. Next, the doctor came. All monitors were changed as to make sure that they were not malfunctioning.

Opening her eyes after 60 days of coma, was really the best Christmas gift that their parents received from Santa Claus. When she recover slowly, she was assigned to a bone marrow transplant, having her youngest brother's bone marrow as the perfect match. Ironically, the youngest brother had the same birth deffect she had. It was lucky that he is not attacked by EBV yet and he will undergo immunotherapy when he grows older.

This story made me strongly believe that miracles do happen. As long as you pray hard, god is always by your side. Having one to go through such ordeal sounds cruel, but it is these stories that make people believe.

Story adopted from Reader's Digest

Last 2 weeks, I had a life that I had never been through for being a student for 16 years. Stress was coming freely on its way, without considering the load that I can take, making my eyes wide awake every hour of the day and my stomach resist all the things inserted to it. It was just so empty…

As to make my life more meaningful, I had hell lot of plans for my holidays which had started last Thursday (for my last paper was on that day). In my mind, I had the overall, rough planning about the activities. Here is how it goes:

Exercise – Jogging, fitness training, kicks and movements of Taekwondo, demonstration skills.

Piano – practice more, do research on certain composers, improvise songs.

Reading – read more magazines and newspapers.

Cooking – try out new recipes, cook healthy meals for family.

Sounds cool, right? However, I had successfully achieved one only, while the others are just for decoration and to make myself think that I am very busy.

I just can’t pull myself out of bed for these few mornings; I wish I could stay in bed longer for I had not enough sleep and rest for the past semester. The biggest problem now is that I have more input than output, where I’ll snack a lot and exercise very little. All the exercise I have is just during my taekwondo training sessions. How on earth am I going to be fit enough to get back into the ring to fight?

Next, will be my piano. I chose a number of songs, which are meant for research and also to expand my repertoire. Song improvisation is more for entertainment purpose, letting me play the piano but not playing classical music. That would be a very fun and experimental thingy. Still, it is not fully achieved yet for I am not at home always.

Picking up reading as part of my holiday activity is quite appropriate. Somehow, I don’t feel like reading fiction for the time being (maybe I will when I am fully settle down for my holidays). I was in the book store with my mum the other day; I picked up a magazine which is full of Chinese words. That magazine dragged me down the drain, causing me to stop reading. Against all odds, I was smart enough to get another two copies of Readers’ Digest, and I am going to start with it later.

Of course, other than personal hobbies, I enjoyed being in the kitchen with my lovely mum, trying out new recipes of our own creation. Although it may not be as delicious as we imagined but we indulge ourselves in the process. Avoidance of oily and salty food is a must in our recipe, for we want a healthy diet.

All in all, I am really happy that I can stay home alone when my parents are out to work and my brother off to school, for I can spend all the time I have doing the things I want to do. When my family members are back, it will be time to chill out with them, gaining some knowledge out of our small but meaningful conversation.

Stupidity and emotions took over me last night. The magma in my mind boiling at more than 100C. The cells of ignorance just halted their production minutes ago. What is wrong with me? Can’t I just ignore and let it be?

In fact, it was not so good since the night before. I was glued to the television for it was live telecast of the women’s single finals of Badminton World Championship which was held in Madrid. At that same moment, there came a guest. As normal, my parents chit chatted with them, however, all of a sudden I heard shouts and foul language. Next, a big bang which sounds like the sound of the main gate. Then, a lorry drove away in a very rough manner. I was quite blur at that moment, after that I off the television and slipped back into my younger brother’s room, trying to ignore anything that happened.

Being happy that everything was over by the next day, I decided to have a long nap, just to pamper myself and boost myself up to study. Things did not end with my peaceful nap. Two cars collided at the junction of my house due to the recklessness of a youngster. I was quite annoyed. (Imagine half way through your peaceful little nap, someone scared you up.)

That night itself the tragedy happened again (which can be considered as the after-effect of the two incidents above). I started the ‘engine’ again. I was overwhelmed by those harsh words till I did not even think of the consequences before igniting the ‘engine’. I regretted so much. I was in tears. I hate myself for being as reckless as the driver. With guilt n dread, I tried to fix the ‘engine’ back into pieces as a way of saying “Sorry…” It did not work out though. I could not imagine how it would be without my ‘master’ with me.

I really love this ‘engine’. I really do. He does not know how to express himself well, I can understand. I did not mean to hurt him for the second time. It was just an act of stupidity. Sorry…

Da casualty in d Engineering Maths Test 2 Crisis was devastating. It was yday afternoon. I was walkin up d stairs of The Faculty of Engineering Building with heavy footsteps, doubtful 2 check my results for i know that i'l cry if i fail this test.

I was lucky enuf dat i din fail. Lookin at d bright me, it was sad too 2 c sum of my frens who din get 2 pass. N this bring my mind bak 2 d day we took d test. Da whole bunch of us decided 2 sit at d last row of d exam hall, i was cool with it not until i found dat my fren's were cheatin in d exam. I dun mean 2 point fingers towards any1 out there.I admit that i did supply answers 2 them, which i felt dat it was reli so stupid of me.

Thn lookin at d results, i found dat those who din reli study got better results than those who put in dozens n dozens of effort.Y must it be so unfair?Mayb folks out there will say dat it's up 2 d studyin style of individuals, wether they study hard o smart. But i knw dat sum of those who got gd results take things 4 granted, n i reli hope dat they wil look bak n tink bout it. Is it ur true result? Not 2 say dat u r sorry 4 others, r u sorry 4 urself? What r d consequences of doin so?

Remember, there r certain things dat u hv 2 pay n sacrifice in order 2 hit d target. It's not mere luck. Ur lucky star won't b shining bright 4 long if u stay on with dis attitude.